What my Kids and Grandkids Have That I Didn’t Have (Part 2)

(Note: This article is Part 2 of a two-part series. I invite you to read Part 1 here.)

I think that every parent, especially dads, want to give their children more than they had growing up. Maybe it’s a bigger house, more stuff, even a brighter future. That is a fairly normal goal. However, I have not been concerned about those kinds of things. I wanted my children and grandchildren to be raised in a Christian home where my wife and I were able to impart a spiritual legacy.

Here is a summary of what I discussed in my last article:

• God enabled me to become a decent husband, father, and grandfather, despite the fact that I did not have good role models

• My transformed life in Christ made me a man who learned to think more about others than myself, love unconditionally, and become more Christ-like

• My wife and I were not raised in a Christian home; although we were raised with good values, we were not shown God’s love and truth

• Only by the grace of God our children and grandchildren have seen what Christian marriage and parenting looks like

In this second article, I will contrast the experiences my children and I had with our respective grandparents with what our grandchildren have now. I want to focus on God’s work, not mine.

What my kids and I did not have with our grandparents

Let me now step back and reflect on my experience with my own grandmothers and on what our children experienced with their grandparents and step-grandparents. Contrary to what you might think, it wasn’t all bad. For example, I saw my dad work hard to be a better grandfather than he was as a father.

The first thing that comes to mind is that my children had way too many grandparents due to multiple divorces and remarriages. Instead of just mom’s mom and dad, and dad’s parents (four total), each of our parents at one point were all remarried, so our kids had a total of eight grandparents and step-grandparents. I know; more presents at Christmas, right? However, it was all very confusing to our young children. It also made it difficult to split time between them at the holidays. Also, as nice as my two grandmothers were and as kind and generous as my children’s eight grandparents and step-grandparents were, only one of them (on rare occasions) was a godly influence. Other than my wife’s mother, I never heard one of them say that they were praying for us or our kids.

One of the other frustrations my wife and I had while our kids were growing up was how infrequently our kids saw their grandparents. To be fair, it may have been largely due to the fact that we were a military family for twenty years. We were often stationed far away from our families of origin, but we would try to see as many of them as we could when during our moves across the country. Some of our parents who were in good health and had the means to travel did make an effort to see us. My dad and my wife’s dad both visited us while we were stationed in Germany.

What my grandchildren have

Let me begin with one of the few references to grandparents in the Bible.

In Paul’s second epistle to Timothy, Paul acknowledges the strong spiritual influence of Timothy’s grandmother: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Tim. 1:5).

Even though my wife and I as well as our children did not have godly grandparents to love us unconditionally and teach us God’s truth like Timothy did, I can say in all humility that our grandchildren do.

I can also honestly say that my wife and I have known each of our grandchildren from Day One. As a result of our consistent pursuit of deep relationships with these precious children, we are close to them. They know we love them. We have begun to fill large treasure chests of special memories. We pray for them by name and go to church with them. We have laid a foundation of a lifetime of influence.

Also, we see our grandchildren more much than we saw our grandparents or our kids saw their grandparents. It takes some time and money to drive several hours to see our three grandchildren to the northeast and the other two to the northwest, but it is so worth it. We make it a habit to visit at least twice a year. They usually come here to see us at about the same frequency. We have spent many holidays with them. We had a great family reunion last summer and have one planned next month.

What will be passed down to future generations?

Only by God’s grace, mercy, and life-changing transformation, I know that my first generation Christian family, which began on our wedding day nearly 44 years ago, is going to impact many generations to come.

My wife and I taught our kids biblical principles in a way that is different than many other Christian families, but it worked for us. We did not have regular family devotions. We did not home-school our children. What we did do was to simply live out our Christian faith openly by our transformed thoughts, words, and actions every day. We read the Bible and prayed for and with our children. We spoke the truth in love. My wife liked to take advantage of teachable moments when driving in the car. In doing all of these things, we demonstrated how to live as a Christian.

Moreover, we showed them what it takes to be a Christian husband and wife. They saw my wife and I be loving parents. They are learning how to be grandparents by watching us now. As a result, five generations will be directly impacted by God’s grace over our family. Following Jesus changed me, my wife, and our kids. Our kids are teaching their kids. This third generation knows what a Christian husband or wife, parent, and grandparent looks like. Thus, we will have influenced our grandchildren’s grandchildren. They will never meet us, but God has already blessed them.

Final thoughts

We read in James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” I am extremely grateful for the gift of being a Christian husband, father, and grandfather because I know the source of these blessings.

If you have been blessed with some or all of these roles, I encourage you to keep on seeking your heavenly Father, who gives us all the love we need to fulfill our responsibilities to our spouses, children, and grandchildren through our being transformed into new creatures through faith in Jesus. Through Him, we have been reconciled to God the Father, so that we can not only have peace with Him, but with our loved ones as well. This faith that changes us will impact generations.

About the author:

Russell E. Gehrlein (Master Sergeant, U.S. Army, Retired) is a Christian, husband of 43 years, father of three, grandfather of five, and author of Immanuel Labor – God’s Presence in our Profession: A Biblical, Theological, and Practical Approach to the Doctrine of Work, published by WestBow Press in February 2018. He is passionate about helping his brothers and sisters in Christ with ordinary jobs understand that their work matters to God and that they can experience His presence at work every day.